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A little nip tuck for swimsuit season

No worries folks, I'm not going under the knife. 
I can't say the same for one of my bathing suits though...
It's that time of year again. That time when women start claiming they are going to spend every day in the gym and turn into total health freaks. The time when trips to clothing stores are prepped by choosing the best pair of underoos that can be hidden beneath bikini bottoms in the ladies dressing room. Yes, we're zoning in on BATHING SUIT SEASON. 

" And you thought no one would notice our thongs"
source

While my body isn't quite ready for the bikini bop, my collection of suits are ready to rock and roll!


About a month ago my friend Brooke told me she had been given two huge boxes of old clothes from a friend of hers who had, let's just say, made a few adjustments to her bod making it so she could no longer wear them.  They were mostly workout tops and bikinis and after snagging the things that fit her , she still had PLENTY left over. Brooke was kind enough to offer the items that remained for me to try. 
I HIT THE JACKPOT PEOPLE!
While most of the workout tops cut me off above the belly button, the majority of the bathing suits fit perfectly! There were a few that were slightly too 80's-tastic for my liking, and a HOOT to try on, but for the most part they were the perfect fit! I walked away with one tank top, a pair of workout pants {which I'm soon turning into capris or shorts due to the fact that I'm about 5 inches taller then their previous owner} and 6 1/2 new bikinis. 

I already had a fairly large collection that I've accumulated over the years but adding 6 1/2 more to the pot makes me think I may not duplicate suits the entire summer! If only I had enough vacation time to test that theory... sad face. 
Well you see the 6 there... now for the 1/2.
There was an adorable Calvin Klein top in black and purple that was a little too "open" in the front. Basically 'the girls' were peeking around the cups to say hello and those shenanigans just don't fly with me. It was too cute not to take so I decided to bust out a few alterations to ensure that I don't bust out on the beach.  And it went a little something like this...

 BIG time case of TMB. {Too Much Boobage} 

It had clearly been altered before so I ripped the seams, got rid of the random "B" charm and snipped the access purple fabric.

I closed the seam to help shrink the dangerously WIDE gap that most definitely would have caused trouble. I didn't really worry about how the stitching looked, as long as it was secure, since my next step involved a little extra cover up. 

Finally I used a piece of the excess fabric that was cut from before and did a tight wrap around for a clean, finished look that I think even CK himself would crack a smile at.
Easy as pie... which I won't be eating due to the aforementioned beach bod prep, or lack there of!
Now I can wear the top without being concerned that the next wave or gust of wind that comes by will be the one that earns me blank stares and Mardi Gras beads. 
Until next time...
Have you ever scored some MAJOR LOOT from a friend or family member passing on their hand-me-downs? And I can't leave this post without asking my lady bloggers about any beach-side suit mishaps. We've all got em... time to share!

No-Soup-Necessary Oyster Crackers

This is kind of an odd little recipe, and one I never would have thought to make if it weren't for the fact that I grew up with my grandmother having a stash of these ready for me every time I came to visit.
When it comes to savory and salty snacks, there is plenty to choose from on grocery store shelves that will more than satisfy your taste buds. But some of the more "delicious" snacks can be pricey and a bit mysterious in terms of their ingredients. That's why I like to make my own salty snacks with simple oyster crackers and a few spices. 
Most people use oyster crackers as additions to soup so it's a little out of the ordinary to find a recipe where they are the star of the show. 
Here are the basic necessities:


  • Ranch dressing mix
  • Garlic salt
  • Dill weed
  • Olive oil
  • Oyster crackers
The recipe is for 2, 11oz. bags/boxes of crackers but I hardly find 11oz. any more so it's easy to add or subtract spices based on how much you are wanting to make. In the end it's all about taste so most of these measurements you can tweak as you please.



In a large bowl, pour 3/4 cup oil over the crackers and toss with a large spoon. Make sure the oil coats all the crackers.



Add one packet of ranch dressing mix, 1 teaspoon of dill weed and 1 teaspoon of garlic salt. Again, more crackers, more seasoning... it's up to you!



Toss the seasoning with the crackers to make sure it's evenly coated.



Pour the crackers back in the bag it came in.



Tada! Now you have a tasty snack with natural ingredients you can enjoy with or without the accompaniment of soup!


Until next time...
What's your favorite salty/savory snack? Do you prefer to make your own or stick with store bought bites?

Not one end, but two.

Happy Friday after St. Patty's day everyone! Hopefully you are all still filled with green beer and remnants of cheer. I did not get to share in the feast O' St. Pat, due to the fact that I was teaching high schoolers the hand jive until 10:00 pm {Tons of fun, by the way!!} but I did make a point to stay up late and snuggle with the hubs over a few episodes of True Blood. Which, by the way, the verdict is still out on. It's an 'interesting' show but I'm not sure what all the fuss is about. We're 10 episodes into the first season and just about every character is now annoying me. Most of the ones I actually like either have tiny bit parts, are winding up dead or have decided to make me hate them for one reason or twelve. 

But, while I could spend an entire series of posts observing the oddities of the VAMPIRE LOVE FEST, I digress.  Today I'm going to talk about something somewhat familiar, but slightly new. Are you ready for it? {read this: weak stomachs brace yourselves} As you know from yesterday's over-share, in the past few days Pigs has mastered the art of projectile poop. I've seen, smelled, and cleaned up more than Mother Nature intended and thought, foolishly, that it couldn't get any worse. This morning's routine started like any other with my early morning wake up call, 4 dates with the snooze button and a refreshing shower before heading downstairs to let the pups out and grab some breakfast. As I descended the stairs a foul smell hit my nose and I knew. Another poop-covered morning. 

Yes, friends, Pigs still has his art down pat {I know some of you were probably worried his talents were diminishing...eww}. I half expected it so wasn't entirely surprised. Luckily I was smart enough to surround their kennel with newspaper last night in hopes that it would catch any fast flying feces. It did, making the clean up much easier than yesterday. The morning continued with me hollering for the hubs' assistance while carefully carrying the poop-covered pups outside so we could switch out the dirty kennel for the clean one {yes we have two, and thank the sweet Lord we do!}. I then tossed the pups in the tub and gave them a good scrub down. All this while still modeling my bathrobe and twisty-towel head. Things seemed to be going smoothly at this point but as I've already prefaced, it was no where near the end. After towel drying the pups I brought them into the guest room where I normally get ready as to not wake Z {I'm such a good wife}. They hopped up on the bed with me and snuggled up in my lap while I alternated between drying my hair, and them. Ah, the calm before the storm.
I noticed that Buster was shivering a little in my lap but thought it was because he was cold from his wet fur. 
Nay, Sara. Thou art wrong in so many ways.
Well folks, it turns out that Buster has been feeling a little left out due to all the coddling and attention his power-pooping sibling has been receiving as of late. So, he decided to join in on the 'fun' and 'excitement in his own special way.
All of a sudden, while still sitting on the bed in a position similar to the "butterfly stretch", with both pups in my lap, and my hair thrown over in front of me so I could dry the back of my head, I feel something warm hit my left leg. It was one of those sensations when you aren't really sure if you're imagining things or not and you aren't even certain of where you should look to find the answer. Well, there was no need to look once the smell hit me.
In total shock I threw my head back and saw it.
My leg, covered in puppy puke.
Good morning.
I called for Z and did everything I could not to look at it, smell it or freak the EFF out. 
I've dealt with puppy puke before but this was something out of The Exorcist. It wasn't chunks of food or a watery mess but instead had remnants of a rope toy, a rubber bear, and the, now infamous, Mr. Duckie. Apparently Pigs wasn't the only one indulging in the toy buffet. The puke's path of destruction traveled from my shin and calf onto the bed, down the comforter and hit the finish line in a pile on the floor. The image has been burned into my brain forever. 
After suppressing the urge to join Buster in his VOM excursion I quickly washed my leg, cleaned up the pool of puke on the carpet, tossed ALL of the bedding in the wash on the HEAVY SOIL setting and sped through the house like a bat out of hell trying to get ready for work while the hubs dealt with the rest of the puppy mess.  I'm so lucky and thankful to have a sweet hubby who will get up HOURS before he has to and battle two tiny poo and puke monsters with me and then make me breakfast. After washing his hands of course.
Oh Friday, why do you hate me so?
Until next time...
Thanks for all the tips on pet carpet stains everyone. Now... how to remove the puppy puke image from my mind forever! GO
 
 

Easy and delicious breakfast casserole

I absolutely love this recipe and make it as often as I can. I made it for our house guests this weekend and it was a huge success, as always. It's my grandmother's breakfast casserole recipe!
You'll need:
  • 1 lb ground sausage {I used Italian turkey sausage this time and was told by my friend Kevin that it was the "best yet".}
  • 2 slices of break {whole wheat for a little extra health, white if you want}
  • 2 cups of sharp cheddar cheese
  • 1 tsp salt
  • 1 tsp dried mustard
  • 6 eggs

The recipe feeds about 6-8 people and it's really simple to double for larger crowds.


brown the sausage
drain and let cool
slice bread into small squares, about 1/2 inch thick.
Layer your baking dish with sausage, bread, and cheese
Mix 6 eggs, salt, and mustard
Pour egg mixture over sausage, bread and cheese.
Egg soup anyone? Bake in a 350 degree oven for 45 minutes. Blot off any extra grease and enjoy!
Never fails!
I'm sure you could add cooked mushrooms, peppers and onions if you'd like. If you try something different let me know how it goes!
Until next time...
Do you have any simple family recipes that never fail to make happy bellies?

WHO'S COMING WITH ME?

It's story time! This is a fun one...especially for anyone who works in a corporate office setting.Before I dive in, let me be clear that I am, in no way, bashing the company I work for. I'm just here to tell stories and pray that I don't enter the office tomorrow to an empty box on my desk and a pink slip from HR.

Here goes nothing!

So, two people were 'let go' at my office last week. I'll call them "Kickedto Thecurb" and "Byebye Benefits" to avoid revealing ANYTHING about them. Kickedto Thecurb was able to slip out unnoticed. {he/she knew it was coming and actually moved his/her car to the back of the building so he/she wouldn't have to go back to his/her desk, therefore avoiding any additional embarrassment and securing a cowardice stealthy getaway} Byebye Benefits, however, pulled something similar to this: [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=onRbNsxRBVQ] Yes, Byebye Benefits stood up beside his/her ex-desk with a box of his/her stuff in hand and addressed all of his/her ex-coworkers with a loud and echoing voice saying, "I know you all think I'm going to freak out, {complete with crazy wiggle-fit} but I'm not. All I want to know is... {pause for dramatic effect} WHO'S COMING WITH ME?"  We were all pretty mystified and you could tell the supervisor who was escorting him/her out was QUITE uncomfortable. Unfortunately, no one joined Byebye Benefits... would have made a better story if someone had, but the upside was that he/she didn't get the painful cricket-chirping response that JMag did in the clip above. Instead the rest of us giggled uncomfortably for a few seconds before someone {who remains a mystery} started clapping. Yes.  Clapping. Not clapping because he/she got fired... Byebye Benefits was probably one of the nicest people in the office and always SUPER friendly to everyone.  Instead, the office was clapping at the fact that Byebye Benefits had the guts to stand up and do what he/she did. Byebye Benefits knew, good and well, that no one would actually join him/her, but wanted to go out as the fun-loving humorous person he/she had been all along. The office clapped at the small yet successful attempt to, for lack of a better phrase, "stick it to the man". Byebye Benefits wasn't going to let getting canned bring him/her down and, although he/she may be wallowing in self pity now, he/she kept what little 'pride' he/she had left by doing what no one else had ever done. You've set the bar high, friend! I commend you ex-coworker and wish you nothing but the best in the future. Hopefully you will find a job where your quirky humor and rose-colored outlook on life isn't can shine as you please! Until next time... Have you ever been witness to a nasty, drama-filled scene at work? Have you ever caused a scene after getting let go from a job? If you could pick your perfect exit from a crappy work situation, what would you do?